Post Divorce Changes

Our Divorce is Over, but Life Circumstances Have Changed. Now What?

If you used Mediation or Collaboration to work out the details of your divorce contract, you will be less likely to face ongoing or serious conflict with your former spouse. That is because these processes are client-centered and allow the parties to determine their own outcome, so they are able to create an arrangement both can live with.

That being said, life still happens, through no fault of any one person necessarily. Often years – or even months – after a divorce, life circumstances shift, or somebody decides the plan isn’t working like s/he thought it would. One party may feel s/he struck a bad bargain and wants to make a change. Read More >>

I Admit, I Have a Marital Problem. Now What Do I Do?

If you are struggling in your marriage and have read through any of my previous posts looking for answers, you have likely realized by now that there are several options available to you. Perhaps you have asked yourself (I hope!) how, in your particular case, you can best reduce animosity and eliminate an unnecessary loss of time and money.

If you are wondering how to learn more about these processes so that you can better determine your future, here are some places to start. Read More >>

Who Do You Want to Be Your Divorce Advocate?

In my line of work, Mediation and Collaborative Practice fall under the umbrella of what has been coined alternative dispute resolution (ADR). Other methods of ADR include arbitration and conciliation.

I was reflecting recently that it is rather ironic that what should be the first step for a couple considering divorce (in my opinion, at least) is defined by a word like “alternative”. Cordial attempts to arrive at an equitable divorce settlement with the help of trained professionals definitely makes more sense as a first effort than does jumping headfirst into costly and lengthy litigation. History backs me up on this as well; traditionally, the mediating efforts of third parties have been used in divorce cases long before courts and attorneys arrived on the scene. Read More >>

Marital Mediation

Often when married couples encounter rough spots in their relationship, well-meaning friends or family members encourage them to see a therapist or to go for couple’s counseling. Many people are not aware that another option is also available: Marital Mediation.

Marital Mediation is an option I often bring up with couples who come to me to begin divorce proceedings – especially if I sense any ambivalence in one or both parties when I ask if they are in agreement as to next steps. Read More >>

The Agony of Waiting vs. the Fear of Going Too Fast

The process of getting a divorce can be fraught with intense, sometimes conflicting emotions. It becomes further complicated when two different perspectives are represented — one spouse desires the divorce and initiates the process, while the other is reluctant, perhaps deeply hurt, and possibly dragging his/her feet.

Often the thought of divorce has been brewing in the mind of a husband or wife for months or even years, so when the decision is finally made and the die is cast, s/he wants to move forward quickly and just get it over with. Meanwhile, this all may be new to the other spouse, who is reeling from being caught off guard and suddenly grappling with difficult emotions. Read More >>